The Vicious Cycle of Love Bombing and Gaslighting
- Aaliyah Yco
- Sep 30, 2022
- 3 min read
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser deliberately tries to make the victim question their own sanity or reality. The goal is to make the victim feel so confused and uncertain that they doubt their own memories, perceptions, and even their own sanity.
Gaslighting can be extremely damaging and is often used as a way to control and manipulate victims. It can be done in many different ways, such as by lying, denying, or constantly changing the story. gaslighting can also involve making the victim doubt themselves by questioning their memories or telling them they are "imagining things." Oftentimes, gaslighting is done in a gradual way so that the victim does not realize what is happening until later on in the relationship.
Love bombing is when an abuser showers the victim with excessive praise and attention at the beginning of the relationship to win them over. Once they have succeeded in gaining the victim's trust, the love bomber will start to withdraw their affection and use it as a weapon to control the victim. For example, they may withhold compliments or acts of love until the victim does something that they want them to do.
Unfortunately, gaslighting and love bombing often create a vicious cycle in which the victim is constantly doubting themselves and their reality. This can be incredibly confusing and traumatic for the victim. In some cases, it can even lead to a mental breakdown.
1. The Warning Signs
There are several warning signs that you may be a victim of gaslighting or love bombing. If you find yourself questioning your reality or doubting your own experiences and perceptions, that is a red flag. Other warning signs include feeling like you are always walking on eggshells around your partner, feeling isolated from your friends and family, or feeling like you are going crazy.
2. Love Bombing
Love bombing is a tactic often used by narcissistic abusers in which they shower their victims with excessive displays of affection, attention, and flattery in order to gain control over them.
3. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser deliberately manipulates and confuses the victim in order to make them doubt their own reality and memories.
4. How does love bombing lead to gaslighting?
Love bombing often leads to gaslighting because it creates an imbalance of power in the relationship. The person who is being love-bombed starts to rely on the love bomber for their happiness, which gives the love bomber a sense of power over them. This power dynamic often leads to gaslighting, as the love bomber uses their power to manipulate the other person into doubting themselves.
5. "The Cycle of Abuse"
The cycle of abuse is a pattern of behavior that characterizes many abusive relationships. It typically consists of four phases: tension-building, explosion, honeymoon, and calm.
6. The Impact of Abuse
The impact of abuse can be far-reaching and long-lasting. Victims of abuse often suffer from anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other mental health issues. Additionally, victims of abuse are at an increased risk of developing substance abuse problems and engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
7. How to Break the Cycle
If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to seek help from a qualified professional who can assist you in developing a safety plan and escaping the cycle of abuse.
Love bombing is a form of manipulation often used by narcissists and sociopaths. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who loves and bombards you with affection and gifts early on, it's important to be aware that this might be part of a larger pattern of controlling behavior. It's important to be able to identify these tactics so you can get out of an abusive relationship before it spirals further downward.
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